Night Mistress

This piece is really good. I like how you made Nina in Perfect girl with no faults and the another girl with no faults, so that they balance each together ...

Prologue The three of us, Adam, Landon, and myself were in the “turning room” as we so solemnly nickname it. Adam sat down in the chair and we bound him ...

Chapter 3 It was 10:00pm when Katherine and I went to the airport. “Call me when you arrive in Tulsa,” Katherine said as she hugged me. “I will,” I said ...

Again, the emotion in this story overwhelm me. You do such a good job at it. It's like you turn a real-situtation and put it into another story and make ...

ummm...a demon loving an angel, i take it? It's different and I enjoy different. I don't see anything wrong with it, but don't take my word with it. I like ...

That's me too. We can be rejects together.

Ooh, I sense jealously eating away at Sophia. I am getting confused though. I thought Sophia didn't like Carmen that way. I think they make an interesting pair if that ...

is that a really pic? if it is, you are pretty. 5 outta 10. be creative.

wow. i can feel the emotion come from this story. this is so sad and yet so true because ...sometimes, in the real world that does happen. i hope Becca ...

Mwha! I remember you. :) And life is treating you well, right? pretty good. I feel great now, making though high school. now, it's on to the big leagues. :shock: ...

Hello Zanya! Welcome to YWS. If you need some one to talk too, feel fre to PM me. I'm looking forward to reading your work.

again, you need to space the paragraph out a bit more. everything looks ok, but don't go on my word. like i said, i'm not a reall good crit like ...

you need to spacing out the paragraphs a littl bit more, like 3 sentences maybe. also watch your sentences, i'm not quite sure, but it looks like some run-on in ...

That defindly grabbing my attention. this is a first reading of an action/adventure fic. it soud pretty good. *on to the first chapter*

I see you rewrtten the chapter. it's sound evening better than before. I'm a sucker for vampire romances, so you will see me around when you finished the another chapter, ...